Birth Matters

Many women and couples today find it difficult to fit childbirth education classes into their busy schedules. They might watch an episode of Baby Story, or read "What To Expect..." At most, they manage a short crash course at their local hospital or health unit. From my clients’ point of view, the health unit courses tend to focus on healthy prenatal nutrition; the hospital courses tend to focus on being a good patient; and the vast majority of mainstream media portrayals of birth breed fear not confidence. My clients were coming to me and saying they needed “more”. They had attended classes hoping to learn about the birth process, but came out feeling anxious and less prepared than ever. That's why I began offering private teaching sessions for my clients, and for other couples in the community as well. We spend a solid hour per topic – in the comfort of your home and at times that fit your schedule – talking through and practicing and exploring the areas that YOU want to know about. If you do not have access to a high-quality independent childbirth education class, I encourage you to check out www.ibirthapp.com It is an inexpensive (ie less than $5!) application you can download for your iphone or access online, which takes you through positions and comfort measures and checklists etc, for birth. It’s not a real live person giving you continuous hands-on support, knowledge & encouragement – but it’s better than nothing! It's also a great 'on the fly' teaching tool for doulas.

Let’s fast forward a few months to labour though shall we? If you’ve hired a doula, you don’t actually have to remember every detail of your classes because your doula knows that stuff like the back of her hand and will refresh you on the fly. Your doula will help you explore your options prenatally, and will be your real-life cheat sheet during labour and birth.

What if you didn’t attend classes though AND you don’t have a doula**? Or you attended a basic class but didn’t think about it again and certainly didn't practice what you learned on a regular basis? It’s kinda like attending the first day of math class, leaving your textbook in your backpack all semester, then showing up for the final exam three months later and expecting to pass. Yes, birth is a natural process, and if all you do is show up at the hospital doors, chances are good that you will be holding your baby in your arms within 24 hours….. but birth is about so much more than just having a baby. Every birth experience transforms you. Your experience of giving birth – how you were treated and how you felt – changes how you relate to your family and to your child; it changes how you see yourself.

Women who have some distance from their childbearing years – women generally who are 50+ - have told me – WITHOUT EXCEPTION – that they wish they had a doula with them when they gave birth. They tell me that when they were pregnant they thought it would all 'just happen' and that the only thing that mattered was a healthy mom and a healthy baby. They tell me that even after baby #1, they were so engulfed by the responsibilities of new parenthood that they didn't make time to think about what their options were for the next baby - "we'll just do it the same as last time". But then time passes, their children grow, and they start to realize that the experience of giving birth 25 years ago still affects them every day. They realize now, that there is so much more to birth than just a healthy mom and a healthy baby. And so they say to me, in parking lots, and at checkout counters, and in the farmers market:

"I wish I had known enough 25 years ago, to have someone like you with me. How you give birth matters so much more than I thought it did at the time."

I know that despite all this, many women today still believe that the only thing that matters is a healthy mom and a healthy baby. Of course we want everyone to be healthy. But there is so much more to life than just basic health. There is beauty and freedom and confidence and joy and power and... and... and...

How you give birth matters. That is why I am so passionate about women having the support they need to navigate the waters of birth in Canada. I want every new parent to come out of their birth experience feeling confident and prepared for the road before them. I want every new parent to be able to look back on their birth experience and find their moments of strength, courage, and joy. The reality is, if you just show up at the hospital doors - under-prepared and ill-informed like the vast majority of Canadian women unknowingly do - you will still likely walk out (relatively) healthy, but you might not walk out happy and that affects your well-being too. It affects you, it affects your child, and it affects you forever.

You research what stroller you want. You research the car seat and the breast pump and the diapers.... please take some time to research the experience of birth itself, and what it takes to have a good birth experience. I think you'll discover for yourself, that birth really does matter.

** "One study found doula support without childbirth classes to be more helpful than childbirth classes alone, as measured by levels of emotional distress and self-esteem evaluated at an interview four months after birth. In particular, it was noted that women in the doula-supported group reported their infants as less fussy than the group attending childbirth class without any doula support. - - Manning-Orenstein, Grace, "A birth intervention: the thereapeutic effects of doula support versus Lamaze preparation on first-time mothers' working models of caregiving." Alternative Therapies, July 1998, Vol. 4, No. 4, pp. 73-81.

To learn more about common practices in birth, and how they affect you, and your baby, please see:

Mothers Advocate – If you want to make informed choices about your pregnancy and birth, but are concerned that you might get overwhelmed by too much information, or don’t want to read, start here. Mothers Advocate gives you the bottom line on the most important things you need to know, in short video clips.

Science & Sensibility - A Research Blog About Healthy Pregnancy, Birth & Beyond from Lamaze International.

Thinking Woman’s Guide To A Better Birth by Henci Goer. This book “puts the power of the latest scientific research on childbirth into the hands of women to help them discern the facts from the myths and make informed decisions about their maternity care."

Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering by Dr. Sarah J. Buckley. “This book gives you the WHOLE story to help you with your most important decisions in birth and mothering.”

A Guide to Effective Care in Pregnancy and Childbirth - This is an online overview of results of the best available research about effects of specific maternity practices today. LOTS of detail!!